What is your hometown? Boyle Heights, CA
What colleges did you attend? Degrees earned? East Los Angeles College-Transfer only
CSU Los Angeles- B.A. Anthropology / BS Rehab Services
CSU Long Beach- M.S. Counseling - Student Development in Higher Education (SDHE)
What motivated you to go to college? My motivation to go to college was to make my parents and family proud. I had stopped out for nine years and felt like I let my family down. I felt helpless in being able to support my family and provide them a better quality of life. I saw that education was the only way to significantly help my family.
Describe your college experience as first-generation. My college experience was difficult. The imposter syndrome of having self doubt and feeling like you do not belong hit me fast. I compared myself to others. I did not speak like a "college student", 'fake it till you make it' did not apply to me because I had no one before me to emulate how to be able to fake it. I quickly stopped out of college. In my short stint at college, my EOPS counselor and I connected greatly, she believed in me and motivated me. Unfortunately, despite her encouragement, I still stopped out for nine years. My counselor was relentless and would call me every semester to encourage me to return but I resisted. Finally, after nine years of working low wage jobs with no future, I returned to school with the intent of making my family proud. I reconnected with my counselor, she never gave up on me, and saved my file all those years and we picked up where we left off. Made a plan and followed it exactly and graduated with two degrees. This time around, I was more mature, more focused and more driven to get this degree. She then helped me apply for graduate school, and wrote me a letter of recommendation, which set the course for me to be where I am now.
What unique challenges did you face? Imposter Syndrome, feeling like I was not good enough, like I would be exposed as a fraud and did not belong at university.
Racism - I went to a predominantly White upper middle class school on a scholarship for baseball. Not one day would pass where I would not hear a Mexican joke or flat out hostility just for being in that space. The racist behavior was replicated by faculty who had jokes of their own and counselors who encouraged me not to go to college and to learn a skill as a mechanic because I did not have the grades.
I did not drive, I did not have money to buy car, so I took the bus. Staying on campus late to study in library or participate in student life is a privilege, I knew I had to plan my classes early so I could take the bus early because it was not safe to be out at night in my neighborhood.
Supportive family who did not know how to support- My family always encouraged me to go to school and expected me to finish but I was also their translator to every meeting with doctors, lawyers, immigration officials etc, I was expected work full time and contribute my income to our home, a family of 9 in a 3 bedroom home, it was impossible for me to find a quiet place to study and it was too dangerous for me to step out of my home to study outside of my home, nor did we have any local cafe's or study areas, mostly liquor stores and fast food restaurants that attracted transients and gang members.
How did you overcome those challenges? Persistence; grit, GANAS; connected with other first gen students who understood me and related to me and created our support system. Finding places to study together and just provide a refuge to vent and be heard.
Connecting with mentors, faculty and counselors who helped me push me to go further and guided me through next steps.
You'd be surprised how easy it can be to motivate a student to persist. Hearing an instructor tell me I was smart, or agree with my contribution to class, or just giving you a chance like letting you add course even after class reached limit, or allowing you to pass class with a 'C' eventhough you earned a 'D' because they know you tried hard and understood concepts but were not at the development level to express them to academia standards.
What did you advise other first-generation students? Do not give up and when you want to give up, ask for help. It can be a classmate, a teacher, a counselor, anyone that you know believes in you or has shown you some kindness. Give someone the chance and challenge to step up and be a mentor or resource for you, you'd be surprised how far people are willing to help if you ask. Feelings of being a fraud, not good enough, or comparing yourself to others are normal, but you are where you are meant to be, and you may need additional resources and tools such as visiting Health Services and therapy to help remind you everyday and give you tools to better manage those emotions and thoughts. Your lived experience, as bad as it may feel, is also a wealth of knowledge. You are still here, you have survived this far from all the knowledge you have accumulated to survive, any other person would not have the strength to endure half of what many 1st gen students encounter. Use that knowledge that has helped you make it this far continue to persevere, but connect with other students, mentors, and resources that can provide additional armor and tools on your journey.
