What is your hometown? Born in El Salvador, migrated to the U.S. at age 5, and grew up in the Los Angeles area-Koreatown.
What colleges did you attend? Degrees earned? Santa Monica Community College- Transfer Only
UC Irvine- B.A. Sociology; B.A. Chicano/Latino Studies
Claremont Graduate University- M.A. Education-Higher Education Administration
CSU Fullerton- Ed.D. Educational Leadership (Pending)
What motivated you to go to college? I had different momentum points that led me to college. The first was the encouragement and support of my parents. It was an expectation. As a child they would say things such as, "when you go to college", "when you get a career", "when you're educated and financially independent". Secondly, my parents went from being school teachers and high school administrators in El Salvador to cleaning houses, working valet and food services in the U.S. I saw first hand how tired and overworked they were. As a child and teen I helped my mom clean houses over my summer breaks. As we cleaned homes my mother would take the opportunity to remind me that if I went to college and had a career, I could have the life of her employers. I wanted to make my parents proud and to be able to have the financial means to provide for them as they aged. Third, the high school college career counselor told me that she didn't think I was the right fit for the university. As a high school student I was involved in multiple leadership programs, cheer, and had a 3.6 GPA. At the time I didn't know any better and believed her so I didn't apply to any universities and enrolled at Santa Monica Community College. I wanted to prove her wrong and now have two B.A's, an M.A., and I'm currently pursuing an Ed.D. Lastly, I was motivated to go to college because I wanted to serve as an example to my Latinx community. Yes, Latinx low income students can be college educated and have a career. I saw it as a means to not just motivate mi gente but to also serve my community through my future career.
Describe your college experience as first-generation. My father until this day still says he admires how I went to college on my own. Because my parents didn't know the U.S. educational system, they couldn't help me through the process of applying or navigating through college. I figured it out on my own which involved incredible growing pains! As a 1.5 generation undocumented youth that primarily grew up in the U.S. my parents expected me to just know how to get to and through college which wasn't the case. I struggled in community college because I never asked for support; I didn't know you could ask for support through counseling or special programs. I also worked 30 hours a week to help my family financially while attending community college which was difficult. I felt so alone as a first generation college student not knowing that others felt similarly. After four years I finally transferred to UCI where I had a different experience because I lived in the Chicano dorm and got connected to counselor and professor. They looked just like me which was inspirational! They also got me connected to resources across campus. However, once first generation, you're always first generation. From my bachelors' degree to today as I finish up my doctoral degree I sometimes still struggle with imposter syndrome. I sometimes still question if I am capable and if I belong in these spaces. When I attended CGU for my masters, I had a triggering event that reminded me of cleaning houses with my mom. As I sat through the orientation, the room had paintings of old white males, past presidents. The curtains were made from a material that was imported from China in the 1960's that costs thousands of dollars. I knew this because one of the houses we cleaned in Beverly Hills had a sofa with this same material that no one was allowed to sit on because of the high cost of the fabric.
What unique challenges did you face? Some of my unique challenges are listed in the narrative above. In addition I'll add that as a first generation Latina college student, I've faced microaggressions and invalidating experiences primarily from professors. Professors have said things like, your English is really good, you being a Latina I'm surprised that your parents wanted to let you go to college, I would've never known that you came here "illegaly" since you're such a good student, just based on how you look people wouldn't know that you're actually smart. So many assumptions are made of women of color, Latinas, and first generation college students.
How did you overcome those challenges? Throughout my varied college student experiences I've had to remind myself: its okay to ask questions and not know everything, you do belong in this space, you are beyond capable and can get through this, your predecessors and ancestors fought for you to be in this space-for you to be college educated. I also got connected to people and resources of support. Once I got connected, it increased my sense of belonging, my community of support, and this improved my college experience. I also tapped into my cultural capital, I realized that although higher education was not meant for people like me, it is my right to make it my own. Coming from a low income family, I didn't have financial capital. However I have familial capital-a strong community of family and friends that provided words of encouragement and support. I also have aspirational capital-hopes and dreams that my educational wisdom and experiences form a strong platform as I help others on their life, school, and career journeys. My social capital as a college student has increased through the years as I rely on my peers and others as resources of information and support. Lastly, my continued pursuit of advanced college degrees is a form of resistance capital. The U.S. educational system was not meant for me and until this day still is designed to advance a profile of students that have different backgrounds as my own. I continue to pursue advanced degrees as a form of resistance- I am here whether others think a Latina should be here or not, I am college educated to support and inspire my Latinx community and other people of color, I am college educated to show that undocumented students are capable and can give back to society. As I've matured as a first generation college student, I've had to remind myself that I could do it and I would do it inspite of the challenges and that those challenges would help me in my career as I serve college students as a college administrator. Whenever I doubted myself either in undergrad or today as doctoral student, I got to my friends and family for encouragement and validation. Lastly, learning more about my cultural heritage and history increased my confidence of who am I and the strong indigenous blood that runs through my veins. I always listened to the stories told from my parents of my ancestors and learned more about my culture and people through my Chicano/a courses and eventual B.A.
What did you advise other first-generation students? Build a community of support. You need to surround yourself with others that have aspirational and social capital so that when you doubt yourself others can help build you back up. Also so that they can get you connected to other sources of information that can help you along the way. You are not alone in how you feel! Remind yourself that no one was born knowing how to go to college; Be patient with yourself that you are learning how to get through this and you will get through it. Don't give up even when you want to give up. Sometimes we are stronger and more capable than we realize. Remember your predecessors and ancestors fought so that laws and educational practices would be changed so that you could go to college. You going to college is a civil and human right that others gave their life fighting for because they knew that you deserve to have a fulfilled and plentiful life full of opportunities. Be proud of being first generation. Your family and friends are more likely to attend to college because you serve as an example to them. Wear the term first generation college student as a badge of honor. You come in with a lot of cultural and personal skills and knowledge that will help you navigate through college. You are more capable that you may even realize. Find a mentor. Someone that understands your experience and wants to be a part of your life journey. Lastly stay focused on what motivates you the most to get educated. For me, it was my parents. I wanted to make them proud and be able to help them financially as they got older. It brings me the greatest joy today to be able to do this for them.
